We're only four days from Thanksgiving, and that means the Big Kahuna of holidays is right around the corner. The Christmas music has already started playing on the radio. People have their lights going up. I even have a neighbor whose Christmas tree is already aglow in her living room window. And you know what else all this festivity brings?
Stress.
Anxiety.
Family conflicts.
Depression.
I no longer have any of those dilemmas. I have no more worries about anyone bitching about too many lights to hang, or why it takes three weeks of boxes all over the house to finish the decorating. All that stress, anxiety and depression moved out over a year ago.
Last Christmas I surprised myself by getting through the holidays with very little worry and almost no stress at all. Being left alone to handle all of the holiday prep while continuing with the day to day raising of my kids might have seemed daunting. Being left to do it all with very little money might have been frightening. But it turned out to be the best Christmas I have had in a long time.
There used to be a need to keep up. You know those pesky old Joneses...the ones whose piles of gifts under the tree are taller than their children, and are wrapped up in beautiful paper and tied with fancy bows. I don't understand why we all go through this nonsensical need to keep up with those Joneses, but inevitably, most of us do. We want to give our kids that picture perfect Christmas. That one we wish we had. And social media seems to issue a challenge to post the most impressive photos in some sick and twisted attempt to outdo the Joneses, or even ourselves from last year.
And there it is.
There's the stress.
We have to spend money we don't have, on presents we don't need. We have to bake the right cookies, use the right wrapping paper, send out that perfect picture card.
But WHY?
What's the prize?
What's the benefit?
What if we just stop?
Last year, I was broke. Really on the balls of my ass broke. I managed to scrape together a few dollars for a couple of gifts for my two youngest kids. I never even got a gift for my oldest. I told my whole family, I just can't do it this year. Take me off the exchange list. Please don't buy me a gift because it will only make me feel bad to not be able to reciprocate. My ex took care of all the teacher and bus driver gifts, and I bought dollar coffee mugs and filled them with wrapped chocolate kisses for all the helpers that were left.
And it was the best Christmas ever.
Christmas didn't burst into flames because there wasn't a mountain of presents. We didn't spend the day in misery because our photos on Facebook didn't measure up to all our friends and family.
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" ~ The Grinch, in How The Grinch Stole Christmas, by Dr. Seuss
And I found my Christmas spirit again. The spirit that had been missing for so many years, that had been sucked away by the misery of a partner, who was likely suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (but would never get help because there was never anything WRONG with HIM), and by my own silly, unnecessary need to keep up with the Joneses.
No more.
I hereby declare war on those superficial Joneses. I don't ever again want to keep up with whatever you feel the need to accomplish for your holiday. If you are in a position to shower your family in treasures, and that is your choice, then so be it. Good for you. (I'm talking to YOU, Gwyneth Paltrow!)
As for me and mine, we're going to celebrate the love we have for each other. We'll bake whatever we can afford, we'll decorate with what we have, we'll listen to really cliché holiday music, we'll wear ugly sweaters, and we'll enjoy every blessed moment of it.
"And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!" ~ Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
*If your name really IS Jones, my apologies for using your moniker as an unfortunate example.
Just as my instinct had told me, but was too blinded by love…my husband is sleeping with my best friend. O God! He is even in love with her. I even was informed about this by an attendant at one of the grocery stores I patronize, but rebuked her rudely and angrily because I taught she had an eye on my husband. Times went on and days went past…I was living a life of ”blinded by love”. My husband and I have been married for 3 years now and I was surprised when I found out he has been living a ”happily married life” of pretense and deceit with me just because of my financial flamboyancy. This was how I found out about them (my husband and my best friend)…There was going to be a dinner for couples that resided in the estate, since it was the estate feast day. But I was down with an unknown illness so I told my husband that we wouldn’t be able to make it to the dinner due to my condition and he agreed (this was on a Monday morning and the dinner was dated for Friday). The next day, I called my dad and complained to him about my illness which the doctor had examined and told me there wasn’t anything wrong with me, of which i knew wasn’t true because I was going through hell inside of my body. My dad told me not to worry and asked me to contact our long time known herbal doctor (Prophet. Akim) (who has been God sent to my family in terms of spiritual help; he helped cure my dad off cancer, my mom off fibroid, my brother was awarded a contract with the world bank, just by his spells) on his email (prayerstosaverelationship”AT”yahoo”DOT”com) which I did. I didn’t get a reply from him till Thursday morning which he explained and blamed on his busy schedules with other of his customers that sought spiritual help. We swung into actions with the procedures of getting me cured of this unknown killer disease that was bent on getting rid of my life. I did all I was instructed by the doctor (herbal). On Friday morning, my husband woke up and told me he was going to be away for about 3 days on a business conference. When he left, I contacted the doctor for the final rites. When everything was done, by 1:45pm just as the doctor had promised, I was well again. I called my dad and informed him about this miracle. I went to my parent’s house which I haven’t been able to do in a long while because of the illness…everyone was happy. I was with my parents till evening, and after having dinner with them, I went to bed. Just as I was going to sleep, I got a call from a neighbor in my estate telling me that she could just see my husband with another lady at the estate’s dinner for couples. I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. Immediately, I Love to the venue and my eyes saw my ears… my husband just leaving in his car with my best friend. I couldn’t believe my eyes, so I tailed them for about 15mins and they drove into a hotel…hmmm. I went back to my apartment and without hesitation I called Prophet. Akim and told him of what I just found out. I told him I needed an urgent spell to make my husband develop sudden hatred for my best friend and immediately come back to me as soon as then. The doctor told me what to do, late that night, I got everything done. At about 3:18am on Saturday morning, my door opened. Who is this in my house this early? …My husband? In tears, he is confessing all he had been doing with my best friend and asking me to forgive him and accept him as the husband he used to be … I wept my eyes out. I immediately forgave him for I love him with all my heart. Now, my husband and I are living faithfully to each other and my illness, gone forever. Are you in need of any kind of spiritual, medical, financial help? Please contact Prophet. Akim on the above email address for your rapid solutions. (Re-write the email in its right form)
ReplyDeleteThank you, but no. I am NOT in need of any spiritual healing. I do NOT need an unfaithful husband back. I'm glad your story worked out. I have forgiven all parties involved, for my own peace. It is NOT my choice to allow hurtful, selfish people back into my life. I wish you happiness and thank you for reading.
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